CD: Queens Of The Stone Age, "Songs For The Deaf" [It's good!]

Since first grade I have dreaded Fruit Cups. My secondary complaint is that the assorted fruit ones have way too much pineapple, and I can't stand pineapple. Why do they put it on hams? My primary complaint, however, has to do with the packaging; those little lift-up metal things on the top of the cans. I used to think that either I was Superman or the lid and the can were fused together or the opener part was just the weakest thing known to man. Four times out of ten I would rip that little lift-up little thing right off the top. Then I would be stuck with a completely unopened can, or one only opened part-way with just a tiny bit of assorted fruit juice coming out of the side. Mastery of fork maneuvering would be paramount in these occations.

Today at work, a similar situation brought my mind back to those days. I was trying to open a can of kidney beans with the same type of lid as the fruit cups. Maybe I have grown stronger since first grade. Maybe the lift-up things have become weaker. I ruined three consecutive cans without popping them open. In frustration, I thought "ah forget it," and so I took a pair of scissors (because we didn't have a can opener; what the heck?) and just stabbed the thing. Woosh. Kidney juice everywhere. Dripping from the wall, from the ceiling, from my hat, from the other wall. No fingerpaints for me that day.