Thursday, October 31, 2002

CD: Vines, "Get Free" promo

I did it! I wrote Subway an E-mail. Actually it was a Customer Service form I found on their website, but I still did it! I had to provide a whole bunch of information about where I lived, the address of the Subway I went to, blah blah blah, but I still did it! Woo! Here's my letter:

You guys are great! I would eat your subs three times a day if I could. Seriously! I had the Chicken Teriyaki today and the Italian B.M.T. the day before. They really hit the spot! I'm going to try some of the other sandwiches to see which one I like the best. The best thing about your subs is that they're big but they're fresh and light, so I can enjoy a foot-long but not feel too full afterwards. Friendly help, too! Keep up the good work!

P.S. The cookies are good, too!

I heart Subway!

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

CD: Radiohead, "Pinkpop 2001" live bootleg

I ate at Subway again, and I'm telling you guys that place is GREAT. Sure, I can't think of another topic to write about today, but seriously. Subway makes great sandwiches. I've found myself staring at the writing on their paper cups a lot; you know, the ones with the charts saying how much healthier Subway subs are to Big Macs and Whoppers. This is true. Don't forget, however, that their chart doesn't figure in cheese or mayonnaise, or any other special stuff. And I eat foot-longs, not the 6-inchers. So really it's twice the calories, but that's just a tangent. If you're ever hungry and you need something fast, go get a Subway sub. The lettuce is fresh, they'll make 'em any way you want 'em, there's a Subway on every other block, the prices are decent, the people are friendly, there usually aren't a lot of people there, it's open pretty late at night, and, oh, I don't know, they're just really really really really GOOD! I mean it you guys, eat there! You think I'm kidding around! I think tomorrow I'm going to write them a letter.

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

CD: Robert Bradley's Backwater Surprise, "Live"

Oh man oh man oh man, I went to Subway the other day and had yet another AWESOME Subway Sandwich. That place is so cool! How many times do you walk around thinking, "Man, I wish I was eating a sub right now"? Well, for me it's a lot! I parked my car, put a quarter in the meter, and six minutes later (I checked the meter when I came back) I had a 12-inch sub in my hands! Bonus! Only in America...'cuz in Canada they probably call them 30-centimeter subs or something. ANYWAY, from now on I will use my time at Subway to experiment and find the best fixin's for My Perfect Subway Sub. Today: the Italian sub with honey mustard sauce and cheese, on parmesean bread. (Did I spell "parmesean" right? I don't think I did.) Next time I'll try it without the pickles. Rock over London, rock on Chicago...Subway: Eat Fresh!

Monday, October 28, 2002

CD: Supergrass, "Supergrass" day in a nutshell.

1:30 AM: Wake up from my three hours of sleep. Quick, take a shower, get a bunch of records, and drive 45 minutes to Buffalo State.

3:00 AM: Radio show. It went pretty well this time, though I had to get let in the building by a police officer this time because everyone else had gone home. To do what?

6:00 AM: End radio show. Found a couple of CDs lying on the floor that I figured I'd keep for my lonesome. The Vines promo, for one. Sweet. Also played a Wesley Willis station ID that he recorded when he was staying in the residence halls for a week or so last year. That guy can really rock and roll. Now it's time for work!

6:45 AM: Finish driving from Buffalo to Elma, New York to the school there. Change my shirt in the empty parking lot. I arrive early enough that I can set up things and still have time to start a paper I have due next week Wednesday.

7:30 AM: Start work. Easy day today, just playing the same movie for a bunch of classes. You can start to predict what the students' reactions will be to certain parts: when they will laugh, when they will all say "Ew!" at the sight of blood, and even when they will start and stop paying attention. Interesting.

2:30 PM: Finish work, kind of. During my free periods I finish that homework paper, which is probably the earliest I've ever done anything for a class. I'm almost an example to my students or something. Now it's time for Bus Duty, meaning I stand around in the cold making sure no one gets run over in the parking lot.

3:00 PM: Drive back to Buffalo.

3:30 PM: Lunch in Buffalo, at Subway! Subway rocks! I even had a discount card that gave me a free sub! Yeah!

4:00 PM: I have two hours until my next class. I go to the library and find out I owe $10 in late fines (@*$#*&^$!!) and read three newspapers. I'm hukd on fonix.

6:00 PM: Presentations in class. It's a good class, especially since I'm not presenting today. I make some comment about an episode of Antiques Road Show that actually isn't too embarrassing. Maybe I should participate more.

8:00 PM: Back to the library. Talking to you.

10:30 PM: Back home? Should probably eat something. Maybe call Dave. Dave doesn't read this weblog, so I can call him a monkey boy without him knowing.

12:00 AM: Zzz? Probably not...

Sunday, October 27, 2002

CD: Queens Of The Stone Age, "Songs For The Deaf" [It's good!]

Since first grade I have dreaded Fruit Cups. My secondary complaint is that the assorted fruit ones have way too much pineapple, and I can't stand pineapple. Why do they put it on hams? My primary complaint, however, has to do with the packaging; those little lift-up metal things on the top of the cans. I used to think that either I was Superman or the lid and the can were fused together or the opener part was just the weakest thing known to man. Four times out of ten I would rip that little lift-up little thing right off the top. Then I would be stuck with a completely unopened can, or one only opened part-way with just a tiny bit of assorted fruit juice coming out of the side. Mastery of fork maneuvering would be paramount in these occations.

Today at work, a similar situation brought my mind back to those days. I was trying to open a can of kidney beans with the same type of lid as the fruit cups. Maybe I have grown stronger since first grade. Maybe the lift-up things have become weaker. I ruined three consecutive cans without popping them open. In frustration, I thought "ah forget it," and so I took a pair of scissors (because we didn't have a can opener; what the heck?) and just stabbed the thing. Woosh. Kidney juice everywhere. Dripping from the wall, from the ceiling, from my hat, from the other wall. No fingerpaints for me that day.

Saturday, October 26, 2002

CD: Weezer, "Weezer" [Green Album]

My new favorite television channel must be NewsWorld International. Since it's not American, I get to hear about things that don't involve the words "sniper," "Osama," or "Tom Daschle". Also, the station is run by the CBC, meaning they interview people one at a time, instead of having them shout at each other via live satellite feed. But the best part? They also play news from Mexico, Japan, China, Russia, and Germany. My favorite one is Germany. Not only do they speak perfect English on the German show (even better than the danged English) they also report on the French. They're nice to the French, but why do the bread eaters always make themselves look bad? It seems the French are either on strike, hogging farm subsidies, pretending to be a superpower, talking like they're drunk, or making little to no contribution to the cultural capital of the industrialized world. Actually I'm kidding. But that last one there? I just read it in my history textbook. Yes; for Grad School. Zut alors!

Friday, October 25, 2002

CD: Queens Of The Stone Age, "Songs For The Deaf"

Didn't do a bloody thing today besides sleep in, read, fumble wih my horrible internet connection, take a shower, eat leftovers, play Super Mario Sunshine, take a nap, and listen to the Queens Of The Stone Age album like three times. It almost sounds like a full day when you type it out. I've also spent an inordinate amount of time trying to pry a piece of beef out from between my teeth with my tongue. Using suction hasn't worked, either, so I may just have to go in with the brush. Sometimes I wonder whether I should just ban certain foods from my diet because they always get stuck in my teeth. Apples, for example. Also some chicken, but not all. And corn; I forgot to mention corn on the cob. Nasty on the chompers.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

CD: Rufus Wainwright, "Rufus Wainwright"

Aw, Jiminy. My social life has just decreased tenfold. Here at the college library computer lab we used to be able to download Instant Messenger every time we used it. It was annoying, but hey, it's still better than dial-up. So I would talk to people here at will because I PAID FOR THIS CONNECTION GOSH DARN IT. Somehow, the lovely and talented people at the BS ITS have learned how to block the little button on the page that would download the IM program, make me happy, and give me a reason (one out of, oh, three) to stay on campus after class. (The other two reasons, by the way, are Drinking and Petty Theft). So screw you guys, I'm a going home.

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

CD: Natalie Imbruglia, "White Lilies Island" [Yeah!]

The city of Buffalo actually decided to have autumn this year, meaning no snow but cold weather. Last year we had summer until Christmas, then got eight feet of snow in two days, then had spring, which was really just the five months it took to melt the eight feet of snow. But either way it's time to put the fans away and turn on the heater. (Assuming you have a heater; it seems a large number of people in Buffalo do not.) Our heater prevents me from getting a cold by taking all the of the dust it's collected over the spring and summer and, using the a new technology called fire, makes the dust hot and circulates it throughout the building and into my nose. Therefore I have cold symptoms, not because I am sick, but because the heater is making me sneeze. Does that make sense? Basically, I have invented a cold vaccine.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

CD: Beck, "Mixed Bizness" single

Now that I'm a commuter, there are things about college that I appreciate more than I used to. One is ample eating establishments. I am overjoyed that I am a stone's throw away from a Subway franchise, and that there's a Mighty Taco right across the street. Another is long, once-a-week night classes. You actually have time to go to them, and you only have to make the drive once. Which brings me to the things I don't appreciate. Like, when you drive 45 minutes to a class that ends up showing a video. Or when you go just to take a 20 minute, multiple-choice test. Or when you want to use a computer in the library lab but there isn't one available. For three hours. Did I mention there's a Subway? Subway sandwiches are the bomb.

What was I talking about again?

Monday, October 21, 2002

CD: Liz Phair, "Whitechocolatespaceegg"

News just can't get any funnier. Did you hear this one? Saddam Hussein holds an election, where he runs unopposed. No, that's not the punchline. THEN, he wins! That's not the punchline, either! Okay, THEN, because he is apparently so thankful to the citizens of Iraq for loving him SO MUCH that they give him 100% of the vote, he decides to free almost every prisoner in the country. That's right, he empties all of the jails. So I got to thinking, what do prisoners--mostly young males with a penchant for violence--do once they get out of prison? Well, maybe they can do something for Saddam Hussein, you know, as kind of a "thank you" for letting them out early. But what would Saddam need with violent, fanatically supportive males aged 18-35? Especially with this upcoming war with the United States...where will he find the time to figure this out?

Sunday, October 20, 2002

10 20 98

CD: Sleater-Kinney, "One Beat"

Yesterday I worked a twelve-hour shift. I did it because they asked me to. I could have declined, and in a lot of ways I wanted to, but for whatever reason I always take on more work than I originally intend on. And then I end up doing even more than that. And I guess I end up enjoying it. I think I worked about 45 hours at three jobs this week, not including two days of classes and their homework, and not considering the 45 minutes of drive time between all of those places. Why do I like it? I get to listen to my car stereo, I meet new people, I get out of the house...all of those dumb excuses and more. Oh, and someday next week I'll get three paychecks in the mail. That makes me forget just how tired I am.


Saturday, October 19, 2002

CD: various, "Hype!" soundtrack

Awwww! It was so cute! I basically had nothing to do yesterday, so somehow I ended up at a CD store. That really has nothing to do with this story. But as I was driving back from the CD store, I took a few back roads because on the way to the CD store there was a lot of construction, you know, one-lane with a guy waving people through kind of stuff, and it was rush hour so I wasn't even going to try it. That has nothing to do with the story either. So as I was driving back, I saw these three little lumps walking around on the road. As most animals do, they are supposed to run across the street or out of the way, or at least pause, stare at you for a second, and then freak out. But these little lumps just sat down. They were to small to figure out what they were before I got to them--I thought they might have been retarded squirrels--but when I came to a complete stop from 62 miles per hour I realized they were two-week-old kittens trying to get warm on the pavement. Aww. Awwwwwww! So I watched as they looked around for a while and then figured out that they should get out of the way. I think the grey one was even asleep! Awwwww!

Friday, October 18, 2002

CD: Ani DiFranco, "Swing Set EP"

I started playing Nintendo again, so any free time I thought I had two days ago has suddenly disappeared, as well as that tiny modicum of desire I possessed that told me tonight I would get that History paper done for Monday. Well, well, well. Whose fault is this? Not mine, of course. Mario has a new game out. The last time a new Mario game came out that I could play was Mario 64, which was totally sweet, and though I hadn't touched video games for about two years before that I lost my Thanksgiving vacation getting all 120 stars in that game. And here we go again. When I downloaded an NES emulator this summer I went into hiding for about a week while I tried to relearn Ninja Gaiden, so who knows how long this will last. By the way, if you look at the cover of Ninja Gaiden, doesn't it look like the Japanese symbols say "The"? I was at a store (Brand Names) buying a video game when I was 12 (Adventures of Lolo) and the guy kept telling the clerk he wanted "Ninja The Gaiden" and she couldn't find it on the shelf for the life of her. Adventures of Lolo was $19.99 and the only game we could afford without waiting another week to get a better one. One more addiction...

Thursday, October 17, 2002

CD: Radiohead, "Amnesiac"

I have spent the last twenty-four hours typing. Papers, E-mails, IM conversations, message board posts. I when I wasn't typing I was writing what I would type the next time I got to a computer. Somehow, between (a little) sleep, work, school, and about an hour and a half of driving time, I have typewritten about thirty-five pages of text. That's an estimate, really. Some were double-spaced, single-spaced...a lot was erased and rewritten. I must have used...six computers today? It sounds about right. Last year I found I have become dependent on a computer; this year I discovered that it must be strapped to my body in order to survive. I'm looking into laptops, but I'll probably chicken out because of the money. Even though I've oogled the specs online for several wasted hours in the past few weeks. Heck, today I spent so much time on computers that I actually crashed a Mac. A Mac! I thought that was impossible. Except for that one time when I was twelve and exploring a computer the first time. I don't know how I did it, but I started rewriting the boot data. Luckily we were both saved by a conscientious technology teacher. But that's a different story. I have to go now, as the amount of time I spend on a computer in one day is the direct adverse of the amount of food I eat. In other words, the last time was yesterday afternoon.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

CD: Radiohead, "Kid A"

Here's my day in a nutshell. This was posted at another topic out of necessity, but since I wrote it twice, I should post it twice...

Frederick Schrock
16 October 2002
SSE 540
Journal Article
Dr. Fusco

Education, Summer 2002 v122 i4 p674(6)

The Technology Hub: a cost effective and educationally sound
method for the integration of technology into schools. Joseph
S.C. Simplicio.

This article introduces an idea which should be more of a reality
in grade schools: the technology "hub", a center at the school
where information can be accessed and transferred by anyone
involved with the school, whether inside of it or out. Many schools
already have some form of a hub installed or planned; numerous
schools have practically replaced their libraries with "media
centers" where computers take the place that rows of books once

There are many benefits to the technology hub. The author
mentions that teachers can write tests onlin for students to access
later, possibly in a resource room setting. Parents can go online
and see what assignments their children have to finish for the
week. Students, teachers, and parents can utilize a school's
website for district news, library resources, or to communicate by
E-mail if there are any problems.

What the article emphasizes is the use of Internet media as a
medium for this exchange of ideas. This has not come to fruition
yet in public schools. Library media centers use poor filtering
systems that block out pornography (sometimes) but also
research articles on Margaret Sanger or Adolf Hitler. In turn,
E-mail is also banned. Websites of schools often go a semester
or more without being updated.

The most frustrating thing about the current situation is that the
technology that is used is often not compatible with what the
students use at home. I am writing this paper right now in a West
Seneca district school that lacks a PC. A copy of the Simplicio
article remains in a floppy disk in my jacket, as the Macintosh
cannot read the .pdf file it is stored on. I would E-mail the article to
myself, but the filter would not allow it. Uploading this paper to an
Internet site that I could access later resulted in one of many
messages warning me that anything I click on could be viewed by
a third party, which somehow erased the completed first version
of this essay. It will not be until schools accept online
communication for what it is meant to be, and not treat it like a
closed-circuit television channel, that the rewards of having a
computer in every classroom will be realized.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

CD: Erykah Badu, "Baduism"

Had a dang rockin' time on my radio show this morning. It's an odd situation that I play music at 3 AM on a Monday, because in one way I don't want anyone to listen so I can play whatever I want, and in another way I want people to listen to the strangeness I put on. And nobody is in the radio station that early in the morning, let alone awake on the campus, so I pretty much own the school for three hours. Today I played some of my favorite female rock acts--Bikini Kill, L7, Sleater-Kinney, and even Erykah Badu--and went on a small rant over how the station will put an overproduced group like Puffy AmiYumi on rotation (giant sellers in Southeast Asia, and even have their own dolls) but not the fanastically overproduced pop of Natalie Imbruglia. That discussion is one I'm sure I could only have with myself, and at 4:30 in the morning to boot.

Monday, October 14, 2002

Cassette (yes, I have cassettes!): Cowboy Mouth, "Word Of Mouth"

An hour ago I got an E-mail from I vaguely remember signing up for an online dating service about two years ago, when I was trying to earn points for one of those goofy Read E-mail For Money schemes. Anyway, I found that in my small hick town of 3000 people there are about five women my age who have ALSO signed up at, and have done so for reasons such as "looking for a date, nothing serious right now" or "a real man who knows how to treat a lady." Well, I'm not very serious.... Some of these people actually seem interesting, maybe even attractive. Nevertheless, I refuse to lower my nonexistent standards to contact one of these people based on the prejudiced assumption that doing so would bruise the social reputation I don't have. So there. And Hunnybunz82, I think I live down the street from you; tell your dog to shut up!

Sunday, October 13, 2002

CD: Frogs, "Starjob" promo

This is the 100th blog post. I started this blog in the summer hoping that it would help me learn to write about myself so I could better write up job applications, keep my essay writing skills up to snuff before graduate school started, to finally force myself to write a diary, and communicate with some of the friends I don't see anymore. None of these plans really succeeded, but here we are four months later. The posts have not changed much; sometimes I write them a day or two ahead of time now, and the tone somehow changed when people started saying they read the blogs on a regular basis (the one thing I regret is that fame has affected my art, though I am neither famous nor artistic). There are a lot of times when I am not listening to the CD I have written at the top of the post, but I have listened to it in the past 24 hours. (Right now I am listening to The Melvin's "The Bit" promo EP if you care.)

One really important rule that I set early on is that I must never write about anything important. Usually what I type is the farthest thing from my mind at the particular time, or only a small part of what's on it. I will never devote webblogs to my woman troubles, family problems, serious personal vices or anything of that nature. That way I can write something, forget about it, and the words will probably not be used against me later (part of the reason I record my E-mails and IMs as well).

But man, I hate these pop-ups, don't you? I can't stand these stupid things.

Well, my CD is done; I'm going to bed. Joe, you should really write on your blog. Ed, keep it up. Dave, you were an inspiration; too bad you're not still doing one. Anyone else who wants one can write to me.

Saturday, October 12, 2002

CD: Beastie Boys, "Root Down EP"

Some days I get to go in for work and there is nothing to do. When teachers are absent, they oftentimes just have their substitutes watch over study halls, or watch videos with their class. Not a bad job, really. Today was one of those days. All of my classes were canceled for something called "Orienteering," which involves teams of kids walking around the athletic fields, finding different stations and doing tasks to complete a checklist of Fun Activities. My station was called "Grab Bag," where students get a random free prize. That's it. I'm not going to sit out in a wet field in my good shoes for two hours playing trick-or-treat. What does that teach you, huh? So with permission of a number of parent volunteers (they thought I was one of them) I came up with a task:

"Okay, this is called Grab Bag, where you basically get a free prize for doing nothing. But that's no fun, so here's what you have to do. [pointing] I want you to run around those bleachers over there three times. This is the catch: do you know the song for Meow Mix cat food?"

Group of five [puzzled]: "Yeah...."

"You have to sing it while you run, as loud as you can. Got it?"

G5: "Uh...oh...kay..." [ten seconds later] "MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW...!"

"I said LOUD!"

Subbing rocks.

Friday, October 11, 2002

CD: Beck, "Sea Change"

Today I visited the University of Buffalo Campus, got lost, and ended up in Lockport. I don't know. Actually I drove around Lockport, meaning I pretty much ended up a little south of Niagara Falls. I usually know the names of the little villages around the area, so when I drove past one of those "Welcome to" signs and found myself reading it twice to get the pronounciation right, I knew I had really screwed up my trip. At least I found those pillars near that lake. You know, that thing? With the thing? The greatest thing I got from the trip was realizing that when people talk about the University of Rochester they say "U of R" but when they talk about the University of Buffalo they say "UB." There is no "U of B." What a mindfudge. Then again, so is figuring out how I made it to Lockport...

Thursday, October 10, 2002

CD: various, "Surge Studio"

If I remember correctly, a couple of months ago I wrote an insightful little piece about a pair of pants whose zipper would not stay all the way up. Whether a defect in the manufacturing of the pants or intense gravitational pull on the zipper (insert joke here) does not matter; the point is the zipper only tended to stay up half way. When I told this to several people--ever have those lulls in the conversation where you don't know what to say next?--their reply was always, unequivocably: "Why don't you just get a safety pin?" Ew gross no! I am not eight, and I am not putting pins at precarious places in my pants.

Anyway, the update. I came into one of my graduate classes, and waited for the professor to arrive. When he did, I noticed that a number of specific appearance traits such as his bushy, landscaped eyebrows, his loud yet often see-through dress shirts, and a haircut that might be prosthetic, there was also a very nice pair of pants--with a safety pin hanging off the zipper. See, THAT's why I wouldn't do it!

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

CD: Wipers, various mix CD #2

Here I sit so brokenhearted, waiting for a class that hasn't started.... I'm sure the deluge is a-comin'. It's gotta be, because two classes of mine are cancelled next week. All of my classes, however, have Giant Projects due, with deadlines that are distant but becoming ever more visible. All of this dead time is making me feel uneasy. I keep reassuring myself that one of these days I'm going to wake up and remember all too late that my fifteen page paper on the life of the tsetse fly (or whatever we learn in Education classes) has to be handed in that morning and I completely forgot to start it. That's why I'm doing nothing right now, right? Because I forgot to do something? Do I have anything due for the class I have in twenty minutes? I must have checked three times now. Did I wash my hands? Maybe I should wash my hands.

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

CD: Illegal Art artists, "Deconstructing Beck"

So here I am, still at school, after getting here at three in the morning. My first radio show was a smash, considering nobody listens at 3 AM and on three occasions I forgot to turn on my microphone when I spoke. Since I didn't want to go home just to sleep, I staked a claim at the top floor of the library in a dim corner, and learned how to make my backpack a pillow. That worked for about three hours. Then I decided it was time for lunch, and enjoyed a walk around Elmwood and a bite to eat. Then, since I was only running on those three hours of sleep--back to sleep! In fact, this time I slept too long, and missed the first twenty minutes of my class, which was the very reason I stayed on campus all day in the first place. Geez. And even worse--or is it--when I apologized for being late the professor quite bluntly stated she had no idea I was gone, and then said "It's okay; at least you were in the library." Tally: Hours spent at school 18, Hours spent studying 0.

Monday, October 07, 2002

CD: "Various Beck Sampled" mix

I probably shouldn't do this, but I just liked my own E-mail so much I thought I'd reprint it here. I think I'm so funny....

Subj: Campus Happenings
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 8:53:09 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: TomServo0
To: Dave




*Actually I'm just going to meet Megan Smith there to drop off a CD for Ed, but if you want to come by her work and hang out for a chad then come on by! (If you really want to hear me talk of the wonders of peanut butter, I can do that too. Did you know it could be used as a contraceptive? Creamy, not chunky; chunky scars. See? I can really Bubba Shrimp it.)



Sunday, October 06, 2002

CD: Eddie Vedder, various mix CD

Today is my brother's birthday. My brother was born about eleven months and three weeks before my sister, meaning that for one week every year they were the same age. I can vividly remember these from growing up, because for that one week my brother didn't have a little sister to beat up. He actually had to think twice, because he had to doubly justify his oppressive behavior. He would have to say something like "Nuh-uh, I'm still older than you 'cuz I was born first!" and she would reply "But I'm _x_ years old too so we're even!" Kids can't really get legal the way Johnny Cochrane can, so he was kind of stuck by this part of the debate. As a result, he would beat my sister harder than he usually did. Strangely, looking back on it I think she didn't mind as much, because for this once-in-a-blue-moon event she still had him, you know?

Saturday, October 05, 2002

CD: Rufus Wainwright, various mix CD

Since I've started a job that requires me to get up sometimes at five in the morning, I get to see a lot of things that I haven't in a long time. This, of course, is because I usually go to bed at five in the morning. However, there is something truly serene early in the day when you can see sunlight but not the sun, when the air still feels crisp and damp, when the the only people you see are delivering the morning paper. It's quiet, it's fresh, and though there is a full day ahead it feels like there is nowhere else you really have to be. A pre-coffee morning: nothing but you in some clean clothes and a waking but rested body. Between 5 and 5:30 AM, despite work, errands, and war on the evening news, it is still a good day.

Friday, October 04, 2002

CD: Black Flag, various mix CD

Oh diggity, today I'm unemployed. That's what's so wonderful and magical about being a substitute teacher: you never know if you're working that day, UNTIL that day. Today at 7 AM I got a call to work, but that was too late; I can't get in on time unless they call between 5:30 and 6:30 in the morning. (Gee, I recall the nights when I used to go to bed at that time. They were two months ago.) So that call failed. An hour later, another call, this one asking me to teach, I mean "teach," middle school gym. Seeing how I majored in History in college, and played basketball twice in those four years, well, I didn't take that one either. And then, an hour after that: "Are you available to teach elementary school?" Oh heck. Colors, clocks and the numbers from 1 to 20? I can barely do that now! Darned if I can walk down the halls in a straight line. In conclusion, today is my day off, and I haven't slept well.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

CD: Black Flag, "Damaged"

The results are in from a yearlong study that searched to find the funniest joke in the world. You know what? They apparently found it, and it's not that funny. Something about some guys from New Jersey shooting each other. They say that Brits and Australians really like the puns, Germans think anything's funny, Canadians don't laugh, and Americans love to make fun of people that are better than them. Here's my favorite American joke: A Texan and a Harvard man are talking to each other.

Texan: So, where you from?

Harvard: Where I come from, we don't put prepositions at the ends of our sentences.

Texan: OK, so where you from, jackass?

Today I was also thinking about someday having a talk show on TV, just so I could invite Jimmy Dean's wife on it. And I would get to ask her, "So, how often do you eat "Jimmy Dean's Sausage?" Thanks, you've been a great audience.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

CD: Stevie Wonder, "Songs In The Key Of Life" [See 11/01]

You know, it's a little bit disturbing when you're searching around the internet and end up looking at pornography by mistake. It's my personal opinion that I like good surprises, like winning the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes, and getting pornographic pop-ups is not one of those good surprises. Anyway, it's even worse when it appears on your screen when in your school's library. Did you know you can get charged with sexual harrassment if a boob ends up on your screen? Not cool. So take it from me, kids: when you're bored, don't start typing random words in the browser to see if they're actual sites. Especially if the site takes you to "". And by the way, "", disappointingly, does not exist.
CD: Beck, "Sea Change"

The message board at this site is now officially closed. Officially as in you can still post on it, but who the heck is going to read it? I mean really, no one's read the thing in weeks. I'm happy it's gone, really, because it's a pain reading it at home. Case in point: I wrote a post about my sister a few days ago, and I sent her the link in an E-mail. It was her birthday, and I told her today that I was going out to get her present. She replied, "You're going to buy me that digital camera? Cool!" "Whuh?" "That link to the digital camera that you sent in the E-mail!" I still had no clue. Then I realized that when she clicked on the link the only thing she saw was the pop-up ad. She never saw the post about her at all. THAT's why I'm switching to

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

CD: Patti Smith, "Gung Ho"

Today I came home to find not only ice cream, but chocolate cake, pumpkin pie, cookies, and best of all, Cool Whip. Yes, the brand! Dinner was awesome. When it came time for dessert (which was about half of the entire meal) I quickly busted out the goods. When it came time for the coup de grace--the CW--I tried opening it as I pulled it out of the fridge. It slipped out of my hands. Trying to grasp it, somehow I got my right hand stuck partway inside the bucket. Still in midair, I could see the bucket was going to fall in the wastebasket. No, not the Cool Whip! My left hand quickly moved into action. I don't know how, but the left hand was able to swing the jar towards my body so I could prevent it from hitting the ground. In the process I got a big gob of whipped cream on my pants, and my right hand was covered entirely by the sticky stuff. What now? Do you have to ask?! It was the tastiest accident ever! The only evidence that remains is the streak of white stuff on the rim of the garbage can from when I got so excited.