Sunday, March 30, 2008

Jabba the Cat

Jabba the Cat watches the Buffalo Sabres.
Jabba the Cat does not like the Sabres' playoff chances.
Jabba the Cat wants us to stop talking about health care proposals and pay attention to the came.
Jabba the Cat is not interested in game delays.
Jabba the Cat promises to slim down.

Debbie Holds Drinks Next to Very Hard Games of Beer Pong


Thursday, March 27, 2008

That's Not Funny

Tuesday I attended world premiere of John Ferguson's epic short film That's Not Funny at the historic Riviera Theater. I got the honor of hobnobbing with the director AND one of the film's stars afterwards. Despite what the title says, That's Not Funny is a hilarious laugh riot that will keep you rolling in the aisles and is two-thumbs-up fun for the whole family. Along with That's Not Funny the Buffalo-Niagara Film Festival also screened the Russian black comedy Fat Stupid Rabbit. The plot of that one I had no idea. Something involving vodka?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wok With Tom

Here's something I tried tonight. It was actually quite good! Almost makes the $7 I spent on that wok at Ikea worth the money.

Green Monster Stir-Fry*

4 cups rice
Olive Oil
3 cups chopped chicken
1 cup chopped onion
1 cup chopped green peppers
1 can peas
4 tablespoons fancy dijon mustard
1 cup pickle juice

Cook the rice separately. Coat the bottom of a wok with olive oil and cook the chopped chicken. When chicken is nearly cooked, add everything else. The pickle juice (sounds gross, doesn't it?) will almost completely evaporate.

If I try this again I'll substitute green beans for the peas, use a little less pickle juice and add some chopped tomatoes. It was hearty and kind of tangy but not overpowering thanks to the white rice. Who knew mustard and pickles went so well together? I should mention that the pickle juice idea came from Rachel Ray; not that I spent a chunk of Spring Break watching morning television or anything.

*"Dave, what would you call this? It needs a name.
Dave: "'The Green Monster.'"
"Um, can you think of a better name?"
Dave: "No."

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dyngus Day '08

There's a Polish word to describe all the fun I had at St. Stanislaus' on Dyngus Day. I think it's "biegunka." Wait, that's not it. Oh well. In any case I had a blast.

Big Crack

For the first time I invited my family over for Easter and not the other way around. At one point my father asked to use the bathroom, emerging later to ask how long my toilet seat had been damaged. Umm, two minutes? Dad is not a lilliputian. He complained that the seat was of, pardon, crappy quality because it was made of pressed wood. I replied that his crappy butt was made out of pressed bacon. He went out and bought me a new seat.

Easter present!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Field Trip

Several moons ago my buddy Joe, my sister and I went to the Buffalo Botanical Gardens. Thanks to an NEA grant and some backing by Mel Gibson I was able to create this YouTube video.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Transcript of Obama's speech on his pastor, race, puppies and sunshine

Today I got my first greenlit article on FARK. It's not news. UPDATE: In fact, it has achieved 1300 responses in the past nine hours, making it the most commented thread on FARK in at least a week. In perspective, however, Obama's speech may be the most important in a generation.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

From The Archives

October 23, 2004: Eliot Spitzer is the MAN (again)

Well ain't that something. My old MySpace page says Spitzer is my hero. I won't bother editing it, since I love irony.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Good Grub at Shannon Pub

Page 9 of the Thursday, March 6 edition of the locally published Night & Day features yours truly in a restaurant review of the Shannon Pub in Tonawanda. "Fred," a man whose belly seems to have an infinite expansive capacity for pasta, ordered the pasta primavera ($11.95)," the article states. "It was a large portion, and the vegetables were fresh and crisp."

Accurate to a tee. Pick up a free copy at a food or music venue near you. What did buddies Kazu, Joe, or David (article and photo) eat? I don't want to spoil the surprise! Shannon's has the best fish fry around, by the way.

In other news my old hometown of Akron was hammered by a magnitude 2.7 earthquake. The seismology station at my old alma mater broke the story. Residents report possibly feeling something and promise to embellish their experience for the next 20 years.


Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Hell Freezes Over

Freezing rain stuck an inch-thick sheet of ice on my car, and passing snowplows did little to help the issue. This morning required a good 15 minutes of chipping, scraping, and defrosting for just two windows. I unlocked the trunk but couldn't open it and focused my energies on the driver's side door. My frozen rear-view mirror cracked after trying to adjust it.

During the day ice melted from the heat of the engine and the cab, so while driving down the road this afternoon the entire sheet of ice from the cab slipped down over the windshield. I went completely blind going down a four-lane road.

Somehow I pulled into a movie theater driveway to pull the glaciers off the glass. When I got out the ice encasing the hood fell, en masse, onto my feet. Then the trunk door popped open.

Two thoughts:
1. Always clean off the whole car, no matter how long it takes.
2. Is my car trying to kill me?