Sunday, March 19, 2006

Die Eier von Servo

Yesterday morning I was hungry and decided to cook myself breakfast. If I were any other person that'd be no big deal, but I can't cook at all. Never tried, either. I can boil pasta and make sandwiches, but that's about it. Whatever else I might have a taste for can be ordered from ZANZIBAR! So for once I tried thinking up a tasty dish. Here's my first ever recipe, Die Eier von Servo:

1 handful chopped onions
4 oz. parmesean cheese, thinly sliced
8 oz. Braunschweiger, sliced
1 can corn nibblets, drained
7 eggs

Instructions: Get a big pan and heat it up on the stove. Think that things will cook more evenly if the pan is hot beforehand. Throw in the Braunschweiger first, thinking it will "grease" the pan. Wonder if pans have to be greased when cooking eggs. Stop wondering quickly because your apartment is filling up with smoke. Throw the corn on next because they're the dampest ingredient and may stop the smoking. It will make it worse. Throw the onions and cheese in since, well, it's almost on fire so I guess you're cooking. Crack those eggs. It's probably enough eggs to kill you, but oh well. Braunschweiger will kill you first. Now what? Keep mixing the stuff around because some of it's turning black. All right, give up. Huh . . . tastes kind of like corned beef hash. Serves 2-3, or 1 of me. Happy St. Patrick's!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

80 Minutes

I got out of work early tonight and had some free time. There's not much else to do but surf the Internet at 4 in the morning, however, so I decided to add some music info to my blog. On the right are random selections from my Pandora stations which I hope to update regularly (for some reason it won't let me link the actual channels). I was also bored enough to make a mix CD for my dedicated fanbase. Seeing how ONE person downloaded the last Podcast I'm sure y'all are itchin' for more.

So here's an 80 MINUTE COLLECTION OF MP3s. Well, maybe 76. Tell me what you think and maybe I'll do more:

01 Ben Folds - Bitches Ain't Shit
Dr. Dre cover. The language! This is wholly inappropriate.
02 Boris - Pink
Japanese cock rock
03 Buzzcocks - Credit
Featuring the Tops self-checkout lane
04 Coldplay - Easy To Please
05 Danko Jones - Pump It Up
Elvis Costello cover found by Joe at after hearing it on a commercial
06 Franz Ferdinand and Fire Engines - Get Up And Use Me
Collaboration with some local friends of theirs
07 Kaiser Chiefs - Na Na Na Na Naa (Polysics Remix)
Hey hey hey, goodbye!
08 Peanut Butter Wolf - Styles Crew Flows Beats
Sounds old school
09 Pearl Jam - World Wide Suicide
New single from upcoming album. From
10 Plus-Tech Squeeze Box - Sneaker Song
I know nothing about this band. Very J-poppy, but reminds me of The Stooges' "Search and Destroy"
11 Quasi - Presto Change-O
The drummer also plays for uber-group Sleater-Kinney
12 Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
Jack White's new band, from an upcoming album
13 Stereolab - Visionary Road Maps
Some Czech guy I knew recommended this band a long time ago but I hadn't really checked them out. Get it? :(
14 Treacherous Three - Whip It
Actual old-school rap, with Kool Moe Dee
15 Velvet Underground - The Gift
Spoken word. (I put the longer songs here at the end.)
16 Schutte, Alden - Talkin' Proud
After the City of Buffalo lost their steel plants in the 1970s, they tried attracting new business with this song. E for effort, I guess.
17 They Might Be Giants - In the Middle, In the Middle,
A public service announcement from the kids' album No!
18 Spyder D - Big Apple Rappin' (National Rappin' Anthem)
Dinosaur-school rap from an import collection of the same name

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Just Off Route 5

(Thanks to Scott for fixing the title)

A couple posts ago I showed Batavia's empty mall. They just finished rebuilding part of it's massive emptiness to house Batavia City Hall. Here is the front facade.

The front desk

While walking around I ended up in a board meeting. I scrammed.

This door is at the ground level of Buffalo City Hall. 2 On Your Side!

The entry frieze to Buffalo City Hall

This area is off of Wehle Drive in Clarence

The boarded walkway

I also stopped to see an old quarry overlook but I left unimpressed.

Enough pictures; time to go to work.

Buffalo City Hall

Tours every weekday at noon

This morning I took a tour of Buffalo City Hall. I may become one of the tour guides so it was about time I saw the whole thing. Here is one of six murals in the main room.

A memorial to the Nazi invasion of Poland

Mayor Byron Brown's office, with new fish tank.

The guard for the Mayor's Office. Former Mayor Grover Cleveland is in the large portrait.

The Treasury Room

Council Chambers

Common Council Chambers' ceiling

View from the Observation Deck. If you look closely you can see the mist from Niagara Falls

Even the tower staircases take the building's shape

A pattern in the lobby's ceiling

Planes flew overhead

Batavia Mall

Mall Madness

Yesterday evening I checked out the Genesee County Mall in Batavia, New York. After Watergate and the career of Molly Hatchet, it was the worst thing to come out of the 1970s. City planners bought into the mall fad and tore down a row of pre-existing businesses to install a ghost town. "Nobody's here!" said one kid who walked in with her father. "Yeah," said the dad emphatically, "nobody's here is right!" You can read more about this monstrosity (yes, someone wrote a book chapter about how bad this mall is) in Bill Kauffman's Dispatches from the Muckdog Gazette.

The "Cardiology" store

The dog supply store, one of the few open at 6 PM on a Monday.

$ee It $ell is an Ebay store a la The 40 Year Old Virgin

Hiding Place indeed

From the main concourse

The main stage. I think they have square dancing here once a week.

Last time I was here a shoe display remained outside but the store was just as dark.

The "Rural Opportunites" store

I needed a flash to capture Sunny's because the lights were out.

Only Built 4 TomServo0 Linx

[explicit lyrics]

Some blog news: Yesterday my account was suspended for some reason. Either I: 1) posted too many pictures at once or 2) triggered a spam alert with my post Spam as Poetry. Since the Hello program triggered the freeze it was probably the pictures. If that didn't peeve me enough, Joe Ferguson plagiarized at least half of my post Jim 2.0 and put it on his own blog. I don't mind people quoting and borrowing, but when you copy and paste ten photos with their captions you're using the highest caliber of mindlessness. So what did Joe say to defend his actions?

[15:18] Joe: blow me
[15:18] Joe: it's a blog
[15:18] Joe: it's not the ****ing new york times
[15:19] Joe: just think of it as a massive block quote

[15:20] Joe: because people won't go to your site
[15:20] Joe: people who view my site are lazy
[15:20] Joe: and/or dumb

[16:13] Joe: now the computer illiterate people who look at my blog won't see those pictures

[16:16] Joe: my point is, i'm not going to copy your posts if you write something original
[16:18] Joe: my blog isn't about writing witty entries
[16:18] Joe: I know I plagiarized you

By the way, Joe is a published doctoral student.

I'd like to congratulate anyone of Joe's friends who have evolved from the primordial ooze and learned to click on links. I'm sure this site will blow your mind, as Joe only copies boring material for your entertainment. Did you also know how dumb he thinks you are?

From now on, I hope to evade the spam filters and grand larceny borrowers by limiting myself to ten photos per post.

Spam as Poetry

The scoop on poop


by Clotilde Almeda, aka

wife added disappoint evening purpose.
latter the the.
appearance friends my end black least?

night or studied latter reply.
again nothing drew you music.

wife social the servants speaking.
mischievous sandwich carefully disappoint steps,
studied turning disappoint news purpose?

evening end whom.
added wife you yours allow already.

promised sugar commit edge?
off my did am.

(snap snap snap snap snap)

Monday, March 06, 2006

Jim 2.0

This is David Q. Hill. David Q. Hill has nothing to do with this post.

These pairs of lights are the eyes of deer in the dark. They, too have nothing to do with this post.

Anyway. Old roommate Jim came to town and hung out with me and Joe. We ended up seeing Canisius College, which Jim hasn't seen since he transferred four years ago.

The new Eastman building.


The new hallway connecting the Student Center to Eastman. Joe and Jim are weirded out.

Jim and Joe are like two Big Brothers (or Big Sisters)

Jim deciphers the underground tunnel system.


They don't broadcast, but the Canisius radio station got a new paint job.

Two, in fact.

Wouldn't YOU like to be a Big Brother?

This was a note to myself. Who wants to check it out?

The new Quad at night

Then we went to dinner at the Sahara Grill, under the lovely nighttime shade of a plastic palm tree.


Joe's mouth catches fire

Jim is satisfied. For once, his concubines will have the night off.

Eventually we made it to Spot Coffee but then scheduled in a Jam Session and a midnight showing of Enter the Dragon. It took me an entire day to sleep off this monsterous evening.