11 11 02

CD: Portishead, "Portishead"

Tonight's topic is ice cream. When my family buys ice cream there is usually a big debate over what to get, and the ice cream is usually categorized into three main categories:

Vanilla. This means regular vanilla about 90% of the time, but may sometimes branch out to other bland flavors such as Maple Walnut. I do not hate these flavors but they don't make me very happy. These are the flavors the parents want to eat, without any reason other than brash conservativism. One may consider "Cookies & Cream" in this section, but it is rarely agreed chosen (too bad, too).

Fruit. This involves strawberries, usually. Or cherries. Or blueberries, or a whole mix of them in what is usually a vanilla-based flavor called "All American Moose" or something odd like that. Of course, you could always just buy vanilla and add fruit to it later, but then the ice cream just wouldn't look so neat coming out of the box. In my opinion, utterly useless.

Chocolate. In some form, chocolate must be present. ("Cookies & Cream" MAY count.) The best ones are the Death by Chocolates, the Fudge Brownies, the Mint Ting-A-Lings, the Cookie Doughs, the Peanut Butter Cups. I only approve of these kinds. Why? Because they have flavor, they taste like a real dessert (Strawberries!? Save them for brunch!) and thank goodness they have chocolate, the most important taste since Water. Why anything else?

I make it a point to be present during the Ice Cream Selection Process because I insist on having at least one chocolate ice cream chosen. In these later, more refined years, I almost refuse to eat any other kind. C'mon people...vanilla? If I put milk in the freezer long enough I can make something just like it. How about adding some magic cocoa beans, dude?! And chop up some candy bars in there so we can have two desserts at once! You gotta make sure it sits heavy in my stomach, because I'll be eating it for breakfast--the most important meal of the day!


"I am the king of Boggle, there is none higher; I get 11 points off the word "quagmire" --Beastie Boys