CD: Stone Temple Pilots, "No. 4"

Jeff is drunk. Sometimes drunk can be funny, like Otis. But sometimes it can be annoying, or disgusting, or even scary. On the internet, however, it's only funny! Jeff just can't spell, that's all. Like this example:

(12:49:23 AM): we hvae to git tehere earliy
(12:49:28 AM): it is bizzy
(12:49:35 AM): 10 but bixzy
(12:49:42 AM): earli!! qw git htere
(12:49:48 AM): poops - sorryyy
(12:49:58 AM): pskkrf
(12:50:05 AM): pakked
(12:50:14 AM): bizzy!

THAT is comedy. The best part is that they can't see you laughing at everything they say, and you can make it look as if you're taking all their statements with absolute seriousness. My favorite part is when they just start apologizing for things: for being a bad friend, for being drunk, for something that may or may not have happened two months before. Jeff's not doing that now, but if he were this would be SO much cooler.

On a lighter note, I hope the terrorists aren't attacking us today, because July 4th is a great symbol of our independence but it also means 42% of our nation is drunk at any given time. Then again, the rest of us are either in uniform or armed with firecrackers and guns--even the kids--so I guess we'll be alright. So as the 9th District Court says, ___ Bless America and goodnight...

(12:45:30 AM): gte wrodl is psinning rihgt onw1