CD: various Smashing Pumpkins: Machina-era B-sides


Just Like the Special Olympics.

Last night I got an E-mail from the independent store New World Records that said the following (paraphrases):

"These are good seats [to the Britney Spears concert], and all you have to do to win a pair (of tickets) is be one of the first three people to e-mail us with a Britney haiku* and a viable phone number. If you’re one of the [first] lucky three, we’ll call you back and tell you to hustle on down here for your tickets. So hurry up and hit that ‘Reply’ button!"

And I did! Now, I never would have won, because I opened the E-mail six hours after it was sent out. But haikus! It's like Poetry for Dummies. I quickly wrote up and sent out a response:

She's not just a girl...
Teenage pop sells soda pop
My Pops likes her, too

I'm actually quite proud of that one. Not really because I thought it up in less than a minute, or that it used THREE different definitions of the slang word "pop," or that I actually participated in one of these goofy contests! No, I'm proud of it because IT WASN'T DIRTY. Oh man, the mental war I had to wage to keep it that way! The image of Britney Spears is such that one can barely keep away from risque thoughts! Even New World Record had to write:

*Remember, that’s five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third. Neatness counts, and points will be deducted for tastelessness.

Who cares what the results say. I still FEEL like a winner.