Yesterday morning I was hungry and decided to cook myself breakfast. If I were any other person that'd be no big deal, but I can't cook at all. Never tried, either. I can boil pasta and make sandwiches, but that's about it. Whatever else I might have a taste for can be ordered from ZANZIBAR! So for once I tried thinking up a tasty dish. Here's my first ever recipe, Die Eier von Servo:
1 handful chopped onions
4 oz. parmesean cheese, thinly sliced
8 oz. Braunschweiger, sliced
1 can corn nibblets, drained
Instructions: Get a big pan and heat it up on the stove. Think that things will cook more evenly if the pan is hot beforehand. Throw in the Braunschweiger first, thinking it will "grease" the pan. Wonder if pans have to be greased when cooking eggs. Stop wondering quickly because your apartment is filling up with smoke. Throw the corn on next because they're the dampest ingredient and may stop the smoking. It will make it worse. Throw the onions and cheese in since, well, it's almost on fire so I guess you're cooking. Crack those eggs. It's probably enough eggs to kill you, but oh well. Braunschweiger will kill you first. Now what? Keep mixing the stuff around because some of it's turning black. All right, give up. Huh . . . tastes kind of like corned beef hash. Serves 2-3, or 1 of me. Happy St. Patrick's!