New Super Power

Commit seppuku with a Frisbee

On Tuesdays I have to work, then drive to a class, then drive back to work, and then drive over an hour to another class. It's an eighteen hour day that requires a trunkload of bags, several changes of clothes, and a Wednesday set aside solely for sleeping (that is, right after work in the morning). I'm not allowed breaks either, so I have to eat quickly in the car. Last Tuesday, while I scarfed Wendy's fries as is my wont, I began choking. Choking is bad enough but choking while driving is frightening. After several seconds I luckily cleared my throat, though I didn't know how. Suddenly I began sneezing uncontrollably. And hard. The sneezing forced me to convulse and that doesn't help my driving abilities, either.

I couldn't stop--sneezing or traveling down Interstate 90--and I didn't know what to do. Grabbing a napkin I plugged one nostril and then blew as hard as I could. Then the unspeakable happened.

Ladies and gentlemen, A FRENCH FRY CAME OUT MY NOSE. Not in pieces, the whole thing. An inch-and-a-half long, rectangular potato. Somehow, that french fry went down my throat, then up my throat, all the way to my brain, poking my sinuses, and out my nasal cavity.

Covered in goo! I didn't take a picture.

Instead, here's how to put batteries in your mouth.


Next week's experiment: hot dogs. Can I do it?

Kevin Everett: It's A Miracle!

Buffalo Sabres vs. Columbus Blue Jackets fight, 9/21/07

This crappy video is the most popular thing I've ever done on the Internet. Since posting it two days ago, 3000 people have watched it on YouTube. In comparison, this blog gets about twenty hits a day. The site I created in '97-'98 has less than 4000 hits, and it's been up for ten years.

Speaking of YouTube, here's David Sedaris on Letterman, found via Fark. He's coming to Buffalo again, and though I dished out $35 to see him last time he's just as funny if you borrow his books on CD from the library for free. (Check out his impersonation of Ella Fitzgerald on Me Talk Pretty One Day. It's dead on.)

Beyond/In

Fifty artists are displaying exhibits at twelve art venues throughout Buffalo, so last weekend I decided to check a few out. Most are free or cheap, so check 'em out. At the Babeville Hallwalls (sounds odd, I know) I took these pictures:



Afterwards, I popped into the Big Orbit Gallery but their exhibits were under construction. No one seemed to care that I was tiptoeing over them while painting and drilling, but I got out of there quickly. Outside I found this coincidence:

And then this. Who knows what this is about.

Really, who knows what this is about?

Photog at the Gates of Downtown

Below is a video I took at the Sabres' preseason game against the Columbus Blue Jackets. One thing you'll notice is the lack of a scoreboard, which will be replaced by some fancy new digital screens in the near future. Bringing a camera was a great idea, otherwise we couldn't have watched this fight over and over:



Some of us also packed into Thursday at the Square to see the Dropkick Murphys for the last show of the season. Normally I refuse to have people pose for pictures, hoping to catch them in their natural habitat. Keeping Andrea, Brad, Carissa, Dave, and Ed (A, B, C, D, E!) in frame was especially difficult. This was try #3:


So when new acquaintance Andrea suggested coercing people to stay in predetermined positions, I gave in. Here's to you, folks:

H H Richardson Complex

Last weekend I took part in a tour around the grounds of the H H Richardson Complex, also known as the abandoned Psych Center. When it was in operation, the entire thing was 2/3 of a mile long. It's too dangerous to go inside (or so they told us) but the outside is impressive enough.

Stately Wayne Manor

The Masons date back to the Flood . . . because they caused it?

Meanwhile, in the Penguin's lair . . .

The structure is so long it needed vehicle access tunnels going underneath it.

So the building was abandoned, the water stayed on, the pipes froze and burst and water damage tore the building apart from the inside. This is the main entrance for those so inclined.

There is $76 million set aside to fix the structure . . . so they built this fence. Woo hoo!

Behind the Richardson building are several more abandoned buildings. This place is HUGE.

The very edge of the building. One wing was for men, the other for women. The farther from the center, the crazier the patient. The idea was that you'd be closer to the pastoral tranquility of fields and gardens. As you were "cured," you'd work your way to the center of the building and walk out the front door. And with that knowledge, I'll leave you at the extreme end of the looney bin. Until the next post, toodles!

Wingdings '07

Some of us gang members checked out the Buffalo Chicken Wing Festival. The event was such a success that they ran out of wings after only the first day. If you go next year and you see a wing place from LA selling "Habanero" and "el Diablo" flavors, stay away! They're trying to kill you.


You never who you'll bump into downtown. Look who it was right in front of us in line! It's the greatest Special Teams player of all time, who just got his name on the wall in Ralph Wilson Stadium this afternoon: Steve Tasker! I love that guy.


???


The awards ceremony. I also took some video footage of the Buffet Bowl championship, where a 100 pound woman nicknamed "Black Widow" ate about eight pounds of food, but I'll save its poor quality for a later post.




MC 2Many Wings warms up the crowd


Jazz Hands


Exotic flavors

Blogging About Buffalo

1. You have to give it to JP Losman: he's a man of action. He started Buffalo Lives to get some basic cleanup done around the city and today, twenty busloads of people showed up to help. When my bus got to our work location this morning, JP was already there unloading a truckload of peat moss by himself. For an event kickoff, everything was well-organized: free transportation, bottled water, shirts, work gloves, garbage bags, rakes, then pizza and a live band.


View Larger Map

This is good news on progress, especially since Buffalo was just declared the second-poorest city in the nation. During my first summer here I've personally talked to dozens of folks who are realistic about the city's problems but proactively work to solve them. Today's volunteers were more than friendly, and we met several thankful families who wondered why armies of cleaning crews were invading the streets. One family moved here last week from Burma, proving that yes, there are worse places you can live.


Just think: each of these people filled at least one bag of trash.


2. New World Record is moving from Elmwood and Cleveland to Hertel and Delaware. While they're emphasizing Hertel's economic growth and the extra 500 square feet of space, it remains that less people are buying music and the store needs lower rent to survive. I like the place where it is, sure, but it's only to buy show tickets or browse. I last bought a record there about two years ago. (Charging $18.98 for a Hives album won't earn you any new friends either.) Unlike the whiners posting comments to this article, I can walk the extra distance to their new location without much of a problem. That doesn't mean I'll want to, however.

You can get more, better music online, for free, and before stores do. Here's Tick Tick Boom, the new single from the next Hives album, and it's sublime.

Here's the Foo Fighters doing a dead-on cover of the Arcade Fire's Keep The Car Running live on the BBC. You won't find this in stores.

Finally, here's a recently uncovered 1973 recording of Too Many Cooks (Spoil The Soup) by none other than Mick Jagger and John Lennon, brought to my attention by the blog I Am Fuel, You Are Friends (who also links to a new song by Bruce Springsteen). Free, free, free.

Phil & Sarah

Ol' buddy Sarah G married longtime boyfriend Phil this Friday and it was a blast. The bridesmaids' dresses complemented the church's color scheme, the music selections were perfect, and the cake tasted exquisite.





Group hug!
Here are some video clips as well. That kid rocked Brass Monkey. While dancing I stepped on each of Kim's toes, but she was a great sport about it.



The first dance as husband and wife:



Oh, and the vows.





Early that morning I noticed the hotel marquee spelled Sarah's name without the H, so I made a call.
Finally, I got to meet some of Phil and Sarah's friends from Machias for the first time. They were surprised to know even I knew about the magic that is Scottie2Hottie.

Scottie2Hottie's Real World Audition



Congratulations again to Sarah and Phil!

Justice - †

If I only force-feed one album to my roommate this year it's going to be Justice's †, a French industrial dance masterpiece that he demands I turn off less than three seconds after I hit Play. Now it's your turn.

Download this!

1. Genesis
2. Let There Be Light
3. D.A.N.C.E.
4. New Jack
5. Phantom
6. Phantom Pt II
7. Valentine
8. The Party
9. DVNO
10. Stress
11. Waters of Nazareth
12. One Minute to Midnight

What does it sound like? Imagine if Daft Punk's Homework met the breakdown in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and decided to collaborate on a remix of Modest Mussorgsky's Night On Bald Mountain. Don't believe me? YouTube to the rescue. Enjoy!


Daft Punk videos rock, hard


A Filipino prison practices "Thriller" (compare to track 1, "Genesis" and note some lyrical hints of MJ and the Jackson 5 in "D.A.N.C.E.")


"Night on Bald Mountain" from Disney's Fantasia (compare to track 10, "Stress")

Electric Tower

I gave a tour of Downtown Buffalo this Saturday and made an audible to check out the Electric Tower. Not only did the security guard show us around the lobby (with some impressive photos of the building's history and renovation), he also knew a lot of details about the owners and the construction work. Then we checked out the fourteenth floor! When Mayor Brown participated in opening ceremonies last week, he only went as far as the twelfth story. Here are a few pictures:

IMG_0816, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

Lobby

IMG_0846, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

Lobby detail

IMG_0844, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

Original phone booth

IMG_0849, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

A second floor office behind a glass wall

IMG_0854, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

The 14th floor has a fireplace in an all-wood "oval office" boardroom.

IMG_0855, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

The shadow of the Electric Tower on top of the Goldome Building.

IMG_0856, originally uploaded by fcschrock.

An eye-level view of the top of the Central Terminal

Other pictures are here.

In any case, the lobby is open to everyone on weekdays, and it looks great.

I'm Gonna Live Forever

Fame! Did you know I made the front page of the paper?


Look closely. No, not there. Lower. Lower. . . . Okay, you see the boat? Click on the picture and read the caption.

"On both days, tours of the schooner will be available from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., as well as walking tours of the Canal District at 1 and 2 p.m." and GUESS WHO GAVE THE 2 O'CLOCK TOUR?? No, really! Guess! Come on!

You guys are no fun, you know that? I make the front page with Lindsay Lohan and nobody even cares.

See if I come to your funeral.

Meanwhile, this next song pretty much defines me as a person. Once I put this music to a computer animation of the Lincoln-Douglass debates and then played it in a history class. Best presentation ever.

Dueling Jukeboxes

Of all people, Brian Emerson popped in from Cleveland after a charity golf tournament in, of all places, Akron. Unlike this thing here, Brian's blog actually discusses subjects such as community activism, home improvement, and modern Catholicism with some real insight. Lately I've only posted lousy photography, homemade YouTube clips, and unpopular music. I should be ashamed.

So anyway, here are some pictures from the night. The Cincoshakes were delicious.





We ventured to the Jolly Jug, a place known to many as the place Vincent Gallo robbed when he was a teenager in Amherst. (Others like their tacos.) The blurry, second picture shows that our corner of the bar was inhabited by two different jukeboxes. Here's top secret hidden video of them playing simultaneously, which was retarded. And loud.



We even saw a local celebrity: Lou, the guitarist from Mexican Cession! The guy that tore it up every encore playing Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher!" Here, Brian: you better not be using an RSS feed right now, because this .mp3 is dedicated in your honor.
Mexican Cession - Bagel Pimp