There exist some songs created without any meaning or artistic intent whatsoever. I would argue that Baby Got Back is not one of those songs. Its rhymes are witty and contagious, it's funny, and it makes people (or at least their butts) dance. You could even argue that with lyrics such as "So, I'm looking at rock videos / Knock-kneed bimbos, walking like hos / You can have them bimbos / I'll keep my women like Flo-Jo," Sir Mix-a-Lot appears to be fighting the objectification of black women in the media. No wonder he was knighted!
Anyway, back to the crap. One new song by Trace "No Carbs" Adkins is called Honky Tonk Badonkadonk. Here are some lyrical excerpts:
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
. . .
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
So what are Adkins' values? He states them at the end: "That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do / It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey / It's for the badonkadonk." It doesn't exactly have Sir Mix-a-Lot's class. And Adkins' studio musicians seem bored and stilted. You'd think a country song referencing Donkey Kong would sound slightly original, not like its creators were being paid by the hour. What does "goin' on like Donkey Kong" even mean, anyway? Did the woman throw a barrel at her plumber before Trace's friend slapped his grandma?
Another crappy song is by a group that used to be 120 Minutes favorite back in 1997. Now they have a very non-Flo-Jo woman helping them sell stereos for Best Buy. Her monosyllabic stutterings on My Humps almost makes us forget this Black Eyed Peas song doesn't have a decent chorus. I pity the fool who transcribed these lyrics:
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps
. . .
They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.
This song has the social consciousness of Lynndie England's bachelorette party. I never thought I'd say this, but Baby Got Back is the apex of all T&A songs, with a sense of musical quality and cultural vitality unmatched in its fifteen-year existence. A word to the thick soul sisters.