CD: Johnny Cash, "Orange Blossom Special"

Christmas is coming, and I've finally solved the great Christmas mystery. No, it's not where Baby Jesus was born, or how Santa gets down the chimney. I'm talking about socks. Every year myself and my siblings would get socks by the dozens, and by Christmas the next year, we would all be out of socks again! How does it happen? I found the answer. First, my siblings would never pick up their socks. I would, and throw them into a large box marked "clothes." Then, they would take MY socks, and I would vicariously put them in the "clothes" box. Each year I would fill a new box. This year, I opened all the boxes to see what I could give to Goodwill, and you know what I found? One pairs of danged socks, that's what! White ones, ribbed ones, elastic ones, white ones, reinforced toe ones, white ones, tubed ones, white ones, crew ones, and white ones. Ever sort one hundred pairs of socks! It's a rush! Whoo! Get back! Hurt myself!

"Dude, you look weird." --one longtime friend to another, after walking into a room