CD: Jimi Hendrix, "Merry Christmas And Happy New Year"

I got a Game Boy! My brother is getting stranger all the time: first, he never has any money, second, he's the only person that bought anyone any Christmas presents this year. He must have collaborated with Dad or Santa Claus or Colin Powell or someone. These aren't cheapo gifts, either; we're talking a Game Boy for me, and a DVD player for Dad, etc., etc. Though I'm happy as h*ck to finally get that Game Boy Advance--I thought this day would never come! I can play Tetris anywhere!--I just had to ask my brother what was up. After watching so many Christmas specials in my life, and going to too many O. Henry plays, it couldn't be true, you know? "So Tim," I asked humbly, "tell me the truth: how long did you have to sell drugs to get all this stuff?" Tim just laughed. Which could mean anything... And Mom got a big candle!

"Before you think of Eminem as the baddest rapper of all time, remember he lived with his mom until he was 26." --Eminem's Mom