I still don't have time for a substantial post. Today, however, I found the following computer file. In December I cut and pasted my favorite FARK.com headlines of 2006. Somehow forgot to post them, but here they are. Yes, these all once linked to actual news articles:
Man found dead in cemetery after vehicle accident. Police with shovels indicate that they just keep finding more victims
Sodom and Begorrah: Ireland may legalize gay partnerships
Almost one and a half people are run over by trains each day. "There are no half people" you say? There are after the train goes by
It's bad form to have your cell phone ring during a wedding, especially if it plays the Kentucky Derby's "Call to the Post" just before the bride walks down the aisle
Drunk car thief identified by his fingerprints on hot-dog wrapper; will now get a plump one in the buns
Three new "Trojan" asteroids found orbiting Neptune. Still no sign of that missing Durex in Uranus
English majors' communication skills in demand. Oh fries, fries, wherefore art thou fries?
Medical marijuana stock goes public on Toronto stock exchange. Analysts predict the stock will get really, really, really high
Skydivers' plane crashes, killing all aboard. A life-saving device for surviving free-fall would have come in handy
Explosion inside a Post cereal plant blows one unfortunate employee to Alphabits
West Virginia deemed the least diverse state. Officials counter that it's all relative
Never bring a gun to a cockfight. Or is it a knife to a gunfight? Anyway, one guy's dead
World's largest corn maze built in Nebraska. Maze is designed to be much like Nebraska in that you enter, see nothing but corn, then leave
Many girls in line for STD treatment; each one minds herpes and queues
Shuttle explosion scheduled for Tuesday
Oh my god, this is such wonderful news - FDA approves first medicine to treat both the manic and depressive sides of bipolar disorder. It probably won't work though. At least not for me, I'm such a loser
Man discovers cure for premature ej
Man arrested for "overt sexual activity" on a plane when found with his head on his girlfriend's lap. Lawyers say he was just nauseated. Don't worry, buddy, it's an acquired taste
Zombie chickens terrorize populace. Need... more... GRAINS
Study finds that pigs get bored. Still no cure for cancer. Public hopes bored pigs will resort to eating, choose bacon, create hyperbacon
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Invasive snail found in Minnesota. Everybody walk for your lives
_______/\___________\o/______AHHHH HELP, SHARK
Toys "L" Us opens first store in China
Anderson Cooper To Fill Brown Spot
Nun claims pope cured her of Parkinson's. Still can't shake the habit
Belarus, Belarus, they are opposed to Lukashenko? Police swoop in like lightning, very very frightening, see?
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