The Woods

"Entertain"

It seems that I haven't made a decent post since April 6. That's okay considering hardly anyone comments when I do post. So what's been going on since then? Well, they buried one pope and elected another. People that hate the Catholic Church or want little to do with it are upset that the cardinals didn't pick the pro-gay, pro-abortion, anti-Catholic, secular humanist cardinal they'd pinned their hopes on. CNN says the new guy is a conservative. That means they can argue about him on Crossfire! In fact, they did a special report about Robert Novak and how his Catholic faith affects him personally. One point two billion Catholics and CNN picks Novak to exemplify them all? That's a whole lot of outed intelligence operatives. In other news, Bill Frist et al. went to church to tell Christians what Jesus would do if He were a Senator. If you haven't noticed, I love when politics corrupts religion! Church and state could never be fully separate; I don't have a problem with one influencing the other a little bit. They are both major institutions in society and should both work towards the common good. It's when politicians use the pulpit as a soapbox to gain power. Frist is being groomed for the 2008 presidential election. Remember at the end of the 2004 campaign when Kerry spoke at a black church congregation about health care? WTFrick? We can't let this stuff continue. And I've been to church about three times this past year, so I know what I'm talking about.

Right now I'm listening to Hammer's "Too Legit To Quit" album. That guy had style! He also rolls Rs where Rs don't exist. It's fascinrrrrrrrrating if you ever check it rrrrrrout.

Tonight my schedule is a little freer (more free?) but lately I've been applying to jobs while writing papers. April 25th was my birthday, most of which was spent trying to format footnotes. I had a major paper due but the computer decided to take half of the text, turn it into superscript, and put half of my footnotes in the left margin instead of at the bottom of the page. It was astounding. And when it tried printing itself out in Arabic font? Priceless. Never save a WordPerfect file as a Microsoft Word one. In fact, avoid WordPerfect altogether. Jobwise, I took an entry test for the U.S. Department of State. It was six hours long and created by the ACT people. Questions were as varied as What does a modem do?/Who wrote Death of a Salesman?/Through which country could you build the shortest pipeline between Turkmenistan and the Indian Ocean?/List the topics you've gone to the library to learn about outside of schoolwork/The Ubiquitous Argumentative Essay. It's a pretty competitive test so I better keep looking for work. I had an interview for a schoolteacher job that went well, but they just wanted to screen people in case an opening turned up over the summer. I had an interview for a summer job teaching reading classes, but they wanted me to relocate to New York City on my own dime because local positions were taken by people with seniority. I'm working on a Post Office application that's 10+ pages and requires a police background check. I better get a jobby-job quick, as turning 25 automatically pulls me out of my parents' health care plan.

BUT! To anyone who called or E-mailed on my birthday, thank you. At the house we got a pizza and wings. That's all you really need for a birthday anyhow. My mother bought me a rice cooker; I like my rice cooked and it was a thoughtful gift. She also bought me not one, but TWO pocketwatches. She has a habit of getting me things that don't make sense every year, but this year I thought she was cured until I opened that third box. I guess it's the thought, or the lapse in thought, that counts.

Check out Joe's blog, listed to the right, to check out the short film "Plumpers" by Maverick Ferguson. It's hilarious fun for the whole family, filmed by a whole family. Proudly, I helped with some of the musical ideas (uncredited, as I do it for the Art).

Danko Jones will be in town tomorrow night! So will Salman Rushdie. Hmm. See you at Danko Jones! Fatwa? Go on a dietwa!

I look forward to the following summer releases:

Sleater-Kinney (see above, but I'm never sure about their videos)
Nine Inch Nails (Dave Grohl on drums!)
Foo Fighters (double album)
Weezer (actually I heard it, and it isn't that good)
Ben Folds (just found out)
White Stripes (when did they do that?)
Beck (already out: not his best, but bad for him is still great)
Cucumber + Ginseng (it's gonna happen)

There is much more. My life is undoubtably interesting, and you are interested in it. My opinions are well-reasoned and worth reading. You have lots of time to spend on my blog. Drink more Ovaltine.

ts0