Check 1 2

Tonight I went to an MC Chris show at ritzy Broadway Joe's. There were nerds a-plenty so I fit in just fine. Anyway, I was listening to the opening act, thinking "I could do that", when it occurred to me: I HAD done that. For some reason I just never posted it to this blog because . . . now I remember, I was extremely embarrassed! Tonight, after hearing a kid rap two songs about how cool it was to live in Pennsylvania, I'm not so ashamed anymore.


--Check 1 2 (listen to song #3)--
by TomServo0 of Cucumber + Ginseng


check, check 1 check 2
checkin' this check
chick check, where my chickens at

yo, this check's gotta BOUNCE

we just checkin'
microphone checkin'
see if the soundman's learned his lesson
music is testin'
persistence a blessin'
when it comes together, sweet coalescence

found a microphone thrown in a drawer
after searchin' through some gear near my closet door
I got closer, with a Radio Shack cord
and a bootleg audio editor
not the greatest job, but the job is done
input Casio SK-1

so yo, here's to y'all
schrock and awe
northern drawl
feedback fuzz
easy does
day breaks
more mistakes

double back
keep it goin'
though the track
isn't flowin'
double that
find the rhythm
in this hieroglyphic system

now the breakdown is right before us
check out my ominous Arabian chorus

[hunger hurts in the desert
our dromedary camels outpace us
gonna get me an ice cream
dessert at the next oasis

and the buzzards fly overhead
if I don't get there soon I'm gonna be dead]

pass the mic to my lonesome
what's on my Tombstone?
pepperoni, cheese, and some anchovies
"Here lies Fred, his wife of many years,
and all the sucka emcees he brought to tears.
Had no experience, had no skills,
Wrote rhymes down, stood up and killed."

"One night, bored, and just for fun
he produced his first record, went to Number One
throughout the nation, a pop sensation
the inspiration for a generation
like Slick Rick but a whole lot slicker
like the Beatles but a whole lot bigger
records he was wreckin' like acne to your complexion
at his mention all attention turned around to his direction."

phew, wait, lemme take a breath,
that's a lot of mumbling, we finished yet?