The Letter I Wrote To Applebee's Today

Galactic Debate 2004

You know, I saw your commercial--the one where they're closing and a team shows up and they open back up--and you know what? It was total fudging bullsheep!

1. The team lost from a last-minute field goal, and the score was 21-20? How often does that happen? Almost never!

2. It takes at least an hour to get the fryer running again!

3. If corporate found out that manager was giving away overtime pay the whole staff would get the ax!

4. During the weekends Applebee's closes at 1 and 2 in the morning, meaning the bus driver and ENTIRE team, at 3 AM, thought "Gee, I think Applebee's is still open!"

5. "Yeah, I think it IS open because all the lights are off!"

6. "Well don't just drive by the empty parking lot, park and every single one of us will ALL pile out in the rain and check!"

I could count to 20 without thinking but I WON'T because I have early stage Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and would have to go to the hospital! Those players are too short to be on a football team! See, that's one more! In the FUTURE I hope your advertising team will do some RESEARCH and show things as they really are! My father is a bus driver and would be really upset if he saw this! And I want some coupons!

Sincerely!