Sometime in early 2002 Ashley Judd appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She was articulate, funny, and overall just gosh darned sweet. As my alleged friends would have it, we fell in love. One friend even suggested I visit him in Nashville and let him drive me by her house. Or her relatives' house. Either way, Ashley Judd is not my Jodie Foster, but when I eventually did visit my friend in Nashville he seemed visibly disappointed that I preferred seeing the Country Music Hall of Fame over the Stalker's Tour of Franklin. Folks, what I'm trying to say is that the joke's gone too far and gotten too old. There were times that I have helped drag it along--using her photo as an avatar at Dissek.com, for example--but some jokes just don't stay funny for two years. Hereby declared tonight, after viewing a second appearance of Mrs. Judd on the aforementioned show, that the fictitious coupling of myself to a movie star I have never met has ceased to not exist. Let's just stick to Tina Fey for the time being.
CD: Beastie Boys, "To The 5 Boroughs"
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