Leadership Conference, pt. 3

Bag lunches, provided by Anderson's, were . . . provided. For lunch. You could get the famous Beef on Weck sandwich, or turkey or ham, with chips, a cookie, and all the Pespi you could drink (one of the speakers was CEO of PespiCo). But I know all about being a leader from the most important leader in America, George F'N W Bush. Here's how crazy King George the Third helped me take advantage of the situation:

1.) Don't pay attention at important meetings. I brought stuff to read. By the end of the day I had finished a 200-page book, 2 newspapers and several short stories. I needed a backpack for everything, but that just shows preparedness.

2.) As a leader, rules of equity don't apply to you. This one was easy. Walking through the food line, I grabbed a Turkey bag. Then, I went to get my complimentary Pepsi. Then, I put it in my backpack. Then, I went back in line. With free hands I grabbed me a Roast Beef.

3.) Why buy something if you can pre-emptively take it? I got free pens, a half-dozen free sodas and a SWEET Post-It pad that's about 4 inches thick. I'll be writing on free Post-Its until 2012.

4.) Don't learn anything; someone will lead for you. I don't remember a thing. The end!