I went to town court tonight for a speeding ticket. I've been in front of a judge a couple of times now, and I must say they're hilarious. It must be all the crap they have to put up with. I've yet to give an excuse for speeding (or anything else) not because of pride, but because I know I'm just wasting the court's valuable time. The best excuse I heard tonight:

Defendant: "Well Your Honor, it was really late and I was trying to get home, you know, cuz it was late, but I guess I just didn't notice how fast I was going . . . "

Judge: So how many years have you been driving?

Defendant: "Since I was 16, Your Honor." (The man was about 30 years old.)

Judge: "And in all these years of driving you can't tell when you're going 84 in a 45?"

Defendant: "It was dark out . . . "

Judge: "Were you in the Air Force?"