Delicious Dishes

My birthday usually coincides with an all-out, completely nonathletic marathon at a Chinese Buffet. This once-a-year event requires planning (no food for a day before or after) and dedication. I'm no Takeru Kobayashi but I get an E for effort.


The MSG plate


The Sushi Plate


Some Dim Sum


Dessert

As a special birthday treat I also bought myself a Garbage Plate two nights before.
MMMMM!

On Monday I started exercising again.

Her Name Is Alberta, She Lives In Vancouver

Recently cousin Jasson (link updated) discussed the joys of a short trip across the border to Toronto. Oh, but what about the joys of having family in Canada, and visiting several times per year for a lifetime?

Good things about binationalism:

1. Poutine. Definitely poutine.
2. Learning applicable use of the word "eh."
3. Canada ends about fifty miles north of the border. Any farther and you're in Narnia.
4. The greatest sports show in history, Hockey Night in Canada. It's on public television, meaning hockey fights are practically subsidized by the government.
5. Toronto: the city New York could be if it got rid of all that pesky poverty and crime.

Bad things about binationalism:

1. Having to spend more than ten seconds explaining what country you're from. (Just say "American.")
2. Having to hear both sides of the most boring ethnic dispute possible: "Who won the War of 1812?"
3. A dollar isn't worth a dollar. The dollar used to be worth a lot more than a dollar but for a while it was less than a dollar. A dollar is about one dollar now, but you have to exchange dollars for dollars and there's usually a fee making dollars more than a dollar.
4. Being reminded that I'm one-half of the Shreddies duo.


5. I have to know all the states AND provinces, miles AND kilometers, Presidents AND Prime Ministers, and who won the Super Bowl AND the Grey Cup.

The best part of all:

Making fun of both countries without remorse.

Special thanks goes out to Sarah G for the year's best birthday card. We've been to a ton of Canadian shows and stayed awake for two day to see the Pope visit Downsview Park. Good times all.



Avenue Q is at Shea's all this week.

Smoking for Two

I recently celebrated a birthday. Most people receive birthday gifts bought at a store. Because of my chosen field of expertise, however, that's not the case. For example, my sister trekked to the Salvation Army and found a set of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony on 78, circa 1930. Not too shabby.

My parents picked this up: a copy of the Saturday Evening Post from September 9, 1950.


The ads really date the periodical. A black and white, 16" mahogany television set? Who needs a screen that big? But you'll love this one:


Enlarge and discuss!

Bwa bwa bwa-bwa bwa

Miss Othmar

Thanks to a hook-up from my agent, last night I recorded several takes for John's newest film production. I did a voiceover for the part of a chemistry teacher in what I'm sure is a very important scene. Look for the film's premiere in Nashville, Tennessee in the near future. John's last work played at the Buffalo Niagara Film Festival several weeks ago.

And here is the greatest video ever recorded: Lion vs. Buffalo vs. Crocodile!

From Jerry

Fred,
Put this on your web........If you want.


Fred Schrock's Grandfather, Tobias Schrock

Buffalo Museum of Science

1. Take too many pictures at the Science Museum in February
2. Put them to music
3. Profit!

Uh

This election needs to end NOW.

Bel Cibo is not a Disco

So I was taking a picture of these wonderful people:


When I bumped into this wonderful person. Phil, how long has it been?


The weather was nice so I walked around this weekend. Here's a small art gallery on Allen Street:


Here's the Theodore Roosevelt Inaugural Site:


New World Record is closing soon, but they threw a party for Independent Record Store Day. Where am I going to buy concert tickets when they're gone?



Soundlab had a Communist Party, whatever that means. Good times, and a homeless dude to boot.

Terminal Art

Some UB students exhibited their work at Buffalo's Central Terminal last Sunday. While still decrepit, much of the ground floor is now accessible for the first time in years. That leaves plenty of unique open spaces for each artist. My favorite was the Chocolate town, of course. The giant wall o'mall shoes was pretty impressive, too. The art can speak for itself.

Bricks From The Wall

For any fellow Canisius College grads, you probably wondered about that kids' school attached to Lyons Hall. For any fellow elementary school grads (sorry Tennessee!) you must have dreamed of the day your school was destroyed by an awesome display of heavy machinery. In this post, EVERYBODY WINS. St. Joe's has been relocated and the facility demolished. Canisius plans to build new classrooms and dorms (read: worsen parking) in the near future.






When I last checked this former gym/temporary garage had also been leveled.

Holy Thursday

Way back before Easter, best bud Dave and I toured Buffalo's East Side to check out some Catholic churches. Church lighting makes photography a pain but here's my slideshow anyway. I highly recommend you do this next year. Between St. Patrick's Day, this, Easter at the Broadway Market, and Dyngus Day, you now have a month's worth of events bringing in outsiders to the East Side.

Fabulous

Gay Bingo is just what it sounds like. It's also for a good cause. I arrived an hour early with several other people and could barely find seats. (That's 250 seats by the way.) There's no real difference between regular bingo and gay bingo except when somebody screams "BINGO" everyone else yells "BITCH!" Also the drag queens.


And remember: drinking and bingo don't mix.

It's Not News

Over the weekend this page's counter passed 20,000. Thanks to everyone for making the site such a hit. Get it? Hit? Ugh.

Roommate Dave recently picked up a story for the Tonawanda News about a handicapped man who fell out of his bed. Instead of helping him, his girlfriend brought him food for a month while he defecated on himself. Dave's story was picked up by the newswires and published in several papers across the country. Hey, if Bill O'Reilly's career took off from Inside Edition, the sky's the limit for Dave!

An eerie similar story came to light on CNN last week. A mentally ill woman didn't leave her toilet for two years because she was too afraid. Afraid of what, exactly? Her boyfriend doesn't know, and he didn't think of getting help until now. I found out about this story because for some reason, CNN linked the article to my blog. Thanks, CNN, for my 20,000th visitor!



In celebration, here's a special video by Paula Polinski. The music is Mrs. Miller's recording of "Downtown" from Rhino Records' The World's Worst Records Vol. 2. Isn't it sad I know that?

Haale & Friends

Last night I revisited Haale at an intimate show in the Tralf. Haale combines Persian music with Sufi poetry and Jimi Hendrix-inspired guitar rock to make a distinctive but very fluid sound. It'd be difficult to capture the mood of her performance in text or video--especially her explanations of each song's origins--so I won't try. Have you ever heard extended live versions of Led Zeppelin's No Quarter? That's a starting point.



For the heck of it, here's my video of her at Nietzsche's last year:



Check out Haale's official site for a stream of her new album No Ceiling.

Stephen's Last Night In Town

There's nothing to do in Buffalo? First and foremost, American hero STEPHEN COLBERT spoke at UB. Guess who got a free ticket?! No, guess again! Well, yeah, he got a ticket too. But I also went!


Nate and I then headed to the casino to celebrate Li's move to NYC. I didn't bet any money this time, making it my most successful night ever.


Saturday morning was docent training. We took a walking tour of Buffalo's Theater District (Theatre?). Today I realized architecture is just Lego appreciation for rich people.


Everybody must get stoned!


Lunch marked my first time at Laughlin's: three floors of dark wood and good food. Apparently it's also owned by the Pearl Street people.




Later I went out with Rebecca and two of her friends to a wine tasting. The cranberry wine was something else. Y'know what else was something else? The 47-year-old grandfather that hit on Rebecca for twenty minutes. I commiserated with him afterwards.


Dude: I tried but she blew me off.
Me:
Dude: Hold on to that.
Me:
Dude: You're a lucky man. Shakes my hand.
Me: There's plenty of fish in the sea, man.
Dude: You're right. You're right.


This gang introduced me to Sidebar and Hoegaarden, a beer so good its website's not in English. These people are wonderful, whoever they are.


Maybe it was the wine, but wasn't Christopher Walken awesome on Saturday Night Live last night?


Sunday meant, among other things, a trip to Mississippi Mudds on the nicest day of the year. Sadly we have video proof.




Finally, beaver. While walking around the park we found a beaver . . . eating Dairy Queen! A perfect ending to a perfect weekend. There's nothing to do in Buffalo.

Besmirched Correspondence

James Paulsen's Corrupted Affinities is showing at the Big Orbit Gallery on Essex Street, so last week I was there. Paulsen blows up images of dollar bills and splices in everyday commercial icons. The splices are often in patterns or other weird images. Check it out sometime, or at least check out the restored studio space.